A Perfectly Imperfect Holiday

by Marla White

The other day, a friend asked me if I loved Christmas so much because of the nostalgia of it all, the memories it evokes of childhood and presents and happy family gatherings. After thinking about it for a minute, I have to honestly say no. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of happy childhood memories of the holidays, but none of them are perfect even through the rose-colored glasses of yesterday.

My dad used to blind us every Christmas morning with a bar of lights that had the luminous intensity of the sun so that he could film us on his 8mm camera. I’ve never actually seen any of those particular home movies, but I imagine there’s not much to see since we had our hands covering our faces to keep our retinas from being fried. One year, when I was in high school or college, my five older siblings couldn’t make it home on the same day to celebrate, so we had five different Christmas days. Talk about making lemonade out of alleged lemons!

Then there was a decade or so as a grown up adult when I had to leave my life behind and fly back to Ohio from LA for a week of bickering, hurt feelings, and shoveling snow. Yes, it always seemed to snow and here I was, the one who moved three thousand miles to get away from stuff! My boss even gifted me first-class tickets one year so I wouldn’t come back to work after the break in a crappy mood.  So, not perfect, but I still loved the weeks leading up to the forced return. I sang along to the song about the stoplights being red and green feeling this little burst of happiness inside. And in LA, there are a LOT of stoplights to get giddy over!  Best day of the year was when I got to go on the roof, terrified of heights though I am, and hang the Christmas lights. Even that wasn’t perfect; we meant to buy the pretty white icicle lights but discovered when we got them home they were multi-colored. It made me laugh every time I put them up. One year I was re-gifted the weirdest nativity set ever, but it brings me joy every year that I put it up, along with a few additions of my own!

More recently, the holidays are an even farther stretch from perfect. We had to move to a smaller place and figure out how to improvise a Christmas tree. Some lighted garland with a Bumble tree topper makes me smile every time we put it up. Just a few days ago I went to wrap Christmas gifts and couldn’t make the radio app play holiday music without giving it my credit card. So just to spite it, I played my non-holiday iTunes instead, belting out the tunes right along with it. You know what? Filled as it is with songs from my college and early adult years, every tune reminded me of friends who went to concerts with me or family members who turned me on to a particular musician. And isn’t that what holidays are all about, friends and family?

Talking to my friend, I realized I love this time of year because of the hope the light of the season brings. The hope that next year will be even better, the laughter that comes from finding weird work-arounds to challenges, and the joy of the memories of the people I’ve shared the season with whether they can be there or not.

Happy Holidays to you and yours now and throughout the New Year! 

Marla White is an award-winning novelist who prefers killing people who annoy her on paper rather than in real life. Her first full-length mystery novel, Cause for Elimination, placed in several contests including Killer Nashville, The RONE Awards, The Reader’s Favorite, and finishing second in the Orange County Romance Writers for Romantic Suspense. Originally from Oklahoma, she lived in a lot of other states before settling down in Los Angeles to work in the television industry.  She currently teaches at UCLA Extension and gives seminars about the art of script coverage. When she’s not working on the next book, she’s out in the garden, hiking, cheering on the LA Kings, or discovering new craft cocktails.  

Shameless plug:

The audiobook for my cozy mystery, The Starlight Mint Surprise Murder, about former LA cop Mel O’Rourke starting over running a bed-and-breakfast where a dead body is just one of the speed bumps in her holiday season is available at https://bit.ly/3GxEGeQ

Listen to a little murder and family mayhem while you return those gifts that must have seemed thoughtful at the time but truly, how many cat mugs does one person need?